Forty's First February

2 weeks before turning 20 years old;
Helping at the Women's Shelter

I was thinking the other day of how life slowly changes by decade.  Each decade has had its own focus.  Its own definitions of the most meaningful things in life.  It really made me reflect on where I've been as I was trying to predict what forty will bring based on my 25 days of experience.

My twenties were all about me....getting to know myself through new adventures, reaching for my dreams, and trying to evaluate and decide things based on my twenty some years of experience being sheltered. I started my twenties focused on missions but that door wasn't opening.  My disability scared foreign mission groups and for the first time my disability really scared me.  I looked around the university at lots of folks with disabilities with degrees and coming back for more degrees and more classes because they couldn't find employers to give them a chance.  Then a small volunteer job at a rescue mission in Springfield turned into a bigger volunteer job and ultimately into a real job.  I was relieved.  Not only was I doing the mission work that I had felt called to,but I was getting job experience.  


The mission was an experience that couldn't be replicated.  I learned so much about the complexities of life issues and the simplicity of trusting Jesus to fix the complex.  I had asked Christ to be Lord of my life and to let me serve His purposes as a very young child, but the mission is where I found the power that God has to transform lives, if we ask Him to help us.  Unfortunately, I cannot say that I realized my own need to rely of His power yet because like most twenty somethings I had lots of energy, ideas, ideals and plans. (Yep, I was "that" annoying.)

Our family right after Hannah home. I probably
should have worked on her smiling for the camera
before we got this taken.

My thirties were all about doing things for my kids.  I made decisions based on what I thought would give them "the best".  I had Grace and then Corrine in my twenties, and I was completely comfortable with going to work while they were being cared for by my mom or Ms. Pat.  However, as thirty approached the late nights and overnight trips started conflicting with the girls' needs for my time.  At this same time, we had been approved to adopt Hannah, but we had to wait for me to turn thirty to get our travel date.  I remember getting up on my thirtieth birthday and telling Ed, "I feel like such a better parent" as a joke about Ecuador requiring me to be thirty to complete the adoption.  I could never have predicted that nine months later I would open my own business and radically change our lives to better meet Hannah's needs and our family's needs. 

The rest of my thirties are rather obvious in our family picture.  We went from 2 daughters to 4 daughters and 6 sons!  Not bad for one decade! However, all joking aside.  The Lord let me be a part of the most miraculous kids lives.  Each one building my understanding of and reliance on God's power.  I can remember praying for so many of the kids to learn to trust us as their new parents.  I can remember praying at night for Nate to take another breath when he was so sick an there was often long pauses between his noisy deep gasping breaths. So many prayers and so many amazing answers.

My favorite crew in my favorite vehicle.

So having looked back and having been forty for 25 days, I'm wondering what will be my focus of this decade.  I can honestly say that it is highly unlikely that I could guess.  Considering, I have 10 kids; my favorite car is a bus; my personal space is a TV tray; and I carry my office in a laundry basket; I'm sure the new decade will be uniquely perfect for me.  Yes, I am starting to look forward to what this new decade holds, even if its labeled "forty".