I gave up something today that I never thought I would....it involved giving up some pride, some control, some perfectionism, some mommy guilt and some money, but I think this "giving up" is for the best.
I have always provided the kids' home medical care and I have always felt that was my job as their mom. I felt it encouraged bonding/trust and assured quality of care. If the doctors said drop a tube down their nose, then I did it; cath this, bandage that, inject this, pack that, suction this, nebulize that....no matter what was needed or when (round the clock), I learned it and I did it. Likewise, Grace, Corrine & David each have even learned parts of care routines from putting on Vanessa's braces to adjusting the settings on Hannah's cochlear implant processor.
BUT I have decided that it is time to rethink and re-prioritize how and when I am encouraging bonding. Specifically, I realized that almost 100% of my interactions with Jon involved his care....feedings, diaper changes, stretches, bathing, dressing, bandage changes, breathing treatments, medications, feeding tube problems, etc. Plus a great deal of Grace & Corrine's interactions with Jon involve care too. Very little of Jon & my relationship is just loving on each other and doing things like curling up in the big rocker with a snugly blanket to read or watch TV or going outside to blow bubbles. SO I hired a NURSE and an aide....yes, I did....well, and our insurance company did too. However, for a few hours a week a nurse will come and an aid will come and help with Jon's care AND a couple hours of Nate's care.
My hope is that this will give me more uninterrupted time with each of the other kids and make my time with Jon and Nate less about suctioning and more about hugging, holding, playing and just enjoying each other. I really feel convinced that this "giving up" may help avoid problems in the future for all our kids. The kids and I will each continue helping each other and having responsibilities, but hopefully we can focus more on the responsibilities of caring for the mind and soul...and less on the body.
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit
before a fall.--Proverbs 16:18
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old,
he will not depart from it.--Proverbs 22:6