The Best Reasons to Home School

There are thousands of great reasons to home school so I doubt that I can list them all in one blog entry so I'm going to list the benefits that have impressed me the most as a home school mom.


Aviation is not a typical elective in
public school, but it can be
for home schoolers.

• The opportunity to independently study any topic with primary source materials.  No one is limited by the textbooks' information.  Books, documentaries, news articles, letters and even in-person/email/ Skype interviews can be easily added to the learning experience.  I love asking my kids how they know something and the answer is not just "that is what my book (or teacher) said". (Nor is it, "that is what google said.") 

• Explore interest such as learning to play an instrument, voice lessons, scuba diving, flying a plane, horticulture, animal care, sewing, cooking...there are no limits. 

• Explore how our community works and meet the people who are resources in our community.  Home school kids learn through volunteerism, observation and questions as they interact as part of the community instead of just studying about the community.  This is  especially true at election time!  My kids knew more about the library bond issue than I did and could discuss its merits and drawbacks with any one in town.

• The kids learn how to learn without constant supervision.  Home schooling usually requires kids to learn how to find information themselves because no one is hand feeding it to them.  Most of the time, the kids work on their own on projects and assignments without help.  When the kids need help, my first question is usually, "What have you tried?" followed by, "What else can you do to try to solve this problem?" 

• Not limited by labels like "gifted" or "special" or the million other categories that kids can get put into in a school setting.  I'm amazed by how many home school kids who would probably qualify to be labeled as "learning disabled" go to college.

• No distractions by immature social behaviors like malicious gossip or teasing, and the kids learn to ignore and not participate in these behaviors when they see them in peers.

• I learn more as they learn. (Okay, truthfully...sometimes I remember what I learned as they learned...but I hate to admit what I've forgotten.) Plus tutors assure that kids are not limited by my knowledge, interests or skills.

• A few last benefits....awesome field trips, other amazing home school families to give you support and getting to be amazed by my kids' creativity and hard work because I see their skills develop first hand.

To me the most important reason to chose to home school is because God has shown me that some of my kids have a need that home schooling can best meet with its unique benefits.  Therefore, after prayerful consideration, He has directed me to home educated and I am obedient to His direction.

 

Study to shew thyself approved unto God,

 a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,

rightly dividing the word of truth. ~~II Timothy 2:15 KJV

Adoption Disruption: Real Help is Overdue

Ever since a "mom" let her child be returned to Russia by himself on a plane allegedly without notice, the adoption community is especially judgemental of adoption disruption.  We seem to now assume the worst of the family or the child or both.  As an adoptive mom, I certainly never want to see an adoption be disrupted, but I think we are too tough on families and children who are experiencing a disruption.  It seems that we rarely give the families the credit that they deserve.   

The adoptive community seems at a consensus that adoption disruption only happens to parents who are not committed to their kids or who don't work hard enough to make it work. However, what if these families are even more committed and are working harder than our own?  What is its not about commitment, but about their family's survival?  What if its not about the child or the parents?  What if we are judging simply out of our own fears about failure?  What if a disruption is not a failure, but a last opportunity for a family and a child to get the peace and healing that they need.

Ironically, the same adoption advocates, who will extend all respect and love to a biological parent who chooses to utilize the benefits of adoption, will condemn an adoption disruption without knowing the situation.  Is it really fair to an adoptive parent?  Is it really fair to an adopted child?  It is time for the adoption community to develop a less myopic view of disruption.  Parents including myself need to move beyond judgement to helping find resources for families facing tough decisions and for kids needing new families.

If we consider that  2% of the US child population is adopted  (1.8 million children)and that disruptions occur in between 1% to 10% of adoptions, then we would realize that this issue is too big and too damaging to ignore with judgement.  Plus the rates vary by the age of the child and type of adoption.  Needless to say, even at 1% that is 18,000 kids and families who are hurting and need compassionate help in healing.  There is an excellent government report that reviews the factors and frequency of disruption in the US.   One positive indicator from the study is that disruption rates have dropped since the 1980's and 90's.  However, one thing is for sure, condemning families and child(ren) who experience the tragedy and loss of disruption will not solve the problem or promote any one's healing. 

As an adoptive community, we need to be advocating for research, resources, support and better options for all families in crisis...biological and adoptive.  What if families facing these issues were given 24 hour support staff instead of removing the child or what if children were more truthfully presented by adoption agencies or what if adoptive families had paid adoption leave to promote bonding?  Would any of these ideas or numerous others help families?  I don't know, but I think a lot of families and children deserve some real answers...not judgement.

Forty's First February

2 weeks before turning 20 years old;
Helping at the Women's Shelter

I was thinking the other day of how life slowly changes by decade.  Each decade has had its own focus.  Its own definitions of the most meaningful things in life.  It really made me reflect on where I've been as I was trying to predict what forty will bring based on my 25 days of experience.

My twenties were all about me....getting to know myself through new adventures, reaching for my dreams, and trying to evaluate and decide things based on my twenty some years of experience being sheltered. I started my twenties focused on missions but that door wasn't opening.  My disability scared foreign mission groups and for the first time my disability really scared me.  I looked around the university at lots of folks with disabilities with degrees and coming back for more degrees and more classes because they couldn't find employers to give them a chance.  Then a small volunteer job at a rescue mission in Springfield turned into a bigger volunteer job and ultimately into a real job.  I was relieved.  Not only was I doing the mission work that I had felt called to,but I was getting job experience.  


The mission was an experience that couldn't be replicated.  I learned so much about the complexities of life issues and the simplicity of trusting Jesus to fix the complex.  I had asked Christ to be Lord of my life and to let me serve His purposes as a very young child, but the mission is where I found the power that God has to transform lives, if we ask Him to help us.  Unfortunately, I cannot say that I realized my own need to rely of His power yet because like most twenty somethings I had lots of energy, ideas, ideals and plans. (Yep, I was "that" annoying.)

Our family right after Hannah home. I probably
should have worked on her smiling for the camera
before we got this taken.

My thirties were all about doing things for my kids.  I made decisions based on what I thought would give them "the best".  I had Grace and then Corrine in my twenties, and I was completely comfortable with going to work while they were being cared for by my mom or Ms. Pat.  However, as thirty approached the late nights and overnight trips started conflicting with the girls' needs for my time.  At this same time, we had been approved to adopt Hannah, but we had to wait for me to turn thirty to get our travel date.  I remember getting up on my thirtieth birthday and telling Ed, "I feel like such a better parent" as a joke about Ecuador requiring me to be thirty to complete the adoption.  I could never have predicted that nine months later I would open my own business and radically change our lives to better meet Hannah's needs and our family's needs. 

The rest of my thirties are rather obvious in our family picture.  We went from 2 daughters to 4 daughters and 6 sons!  Not bad for one decade! However, all joking aside.  The Lord let me be a part of the most miraculous kids lives.  Each one building my understanding of and reliance on God's power.  I can remember praying for so many of the kids to learn to trust us as their new parents.  I can remember praying at night for Nate to take another breath when he was so sick an there was often long pauses between his noisy deep gasping breaths. So many prayers and so many amazing answers.

My favorite crew in my favorite vehicle.

So having looked back and having been forty for 25 days, I'm wondering what will be my focus of this decade.  I can honestly say that it is highly unlikely that I could guess.  Considering, I have 10 kids; my favorite car is a bus; my personal space is a TV tray; and I carry my office in a laundry basket; I'm sure the new decade will be uniquely perfect for me.  Yes, I am starting to look forward to what this new decade holds, even if its labeled "forty".

Nasty, True Rumors

There is this trend going on among my fellow classmates of 1991 that I don't approve of at all!  I've expressed my displeasure, my disappointment and my reasons why it is not the right time.  However, there is a nasty, true rumor that I'll soon be following the crowd.  Since death and extreme denial are my only other options....alas, soon I have no choice.  Rumor has it that most of my classmates have or will soon turn 40....maybe 2 score sounds better? No.... Maybe 4 decades? Not!....40 years old?  Just might as well just say "old".

I've never been good with aging.  Turning 23 was a bit of a crisis for me.  So was turning 25, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33...well, you get the idea.  Forty is especially hard for me because I remember my parents turning 40 and they were old!  They were my boring, out of touch, always responsible, old parents.  I wanted younger parents so bad.  I was a Freshman in high school and I thought these things!  Now folks, think about this, I have no hope...my youngest are 4 years old.  They will remember me turning 50!  FIFTY FOLKS!  I can barely admit that I might soon be FORTY.  Can you imagine how out of touch they will think I am?!

This is about how old I am in my mind..
not EXACTLY reality.

So I've been thinking about how to minimize the age of 40 and maximize the experience of being 40...I'm not jumping out of a plane, or bungee diving...but I'm going to turn 40 MY WAY!  No one is going to rush me into it.  I've decided that I need 40 days to adjust.  I am giving all my friends and acquaintances NOTICE that as of January 8th, I will start the 40 day process of turning 40.  I figure it took me a long time to get here so why dive right in!

For 40 days, I plan to do some things that I've always wanted to do to be my idea of the PERFECTLY WELL ROUNDED 40 year old.  I've always thought of 40 years old to be secure enough to now be generous and responsible in their community.  The perfect 40 year old is healthy with controlled weight and good exercise habits AND this is NOT me, but I'm going to try it for 40 days.  Lastly a 40 year old ought to know the Bible well.  We have had 40 years to use and misuse it.  I've always wanted to read the Bible through and I've come close, but never completed it in one run.  I will do it in 40 days.  Lastly, 40 year olds ought to have developed wisdom, discernment and restraint in an effort to encourage others.

I've discussed this with friends and I will blog my daily activities as I spend 40 days turning 40.  I will blog in four categories each day.

Community Responsibility
Health/Fitness
Spirituality
Wisdom 

Now, my kids, my hubby and several thoughtful people want to know what I want for gifts this year.  I have thought hard about wants and needs and realized that I am blessed.  I thought about various others, individuals and groups, that I could help with true needs and I've decided that I'd like size 1, 2 and especially size 3 disposable diapers sent to the Children of the Promise orphanage/crisis nursery for my birthday.  I have pre-paid shipping and customs from Florida to Haiti.  During my celebration, you can ship from sites like Wal-Mart.com right to the airport hanger in Florida for less than a dollar.  Then my donation will carry your package the rest of the way to Haiti.  Please let me know if you send a box as I want to track how many boxes and thank you for your generous present.  The address is at the bottom of this blog entry.

You may wonder why not cloth diapers?  Disposable diapers are essential to stopping the spread of infections, worms, bacteria, virus like cholera and protecting the health of Haiti's most fragile infants and the orphanage laundry workers.  It is not like here in the USA where we can fully and safely sanitize cloth diapers.  Limits on clean hot water, man power, petro to run the generator; all are factors which make disposable diapers best for the most susceptible infants with HIV, sickle cell, malnourishment, etc.  I want to give some infants in need the best chance for their survival in a country where the much improved 2012 infant mortality rate is 52.44 per 1000 live births.  (BTW-The USA is 6 per 1000.)


Size 3 is the most needed size as it can
cover other sizes in a pinch



How to send 440 diapers for less
than $60

Shipping address for Diaper Packages:

Bud and Jan Bonnema

Agape Flights CAP–11952

100 Airport Ave 

Venice, FL 34285

BIG Bad Cyber-Bully Mommy Bloggers

I have had my fill of it!  I can't stand to read another blog article by a "lovely Christian mom" who would probably never say a harsh word to a friend, BUT who feels loosened, compelled and perhaps God ordained to blog harsh criticisms telling other Christian mom's how to do things right.  I'm not talking about scriptural based advice or heart touching stories of how things work for them.  I'm talking about personal bias and opinions being passed on by Christian women as more important to share than the Gospel of Jesus Christ!  For some reason, encouraging each other in the Word has fallen out of blogging style.  Now, my disgust IS with expert Christian moms slamming life paths of others and professing to know God's best direction for ALL Christians.  Furthermore, they make it sound like not following THEM will destroy a Christian family.  

In case you haven't had the pleasure of reading some of this unloving, paranoid propaganda, let me summarize the issues that Cyber-bullies know will ruin your Christian home.  Some are the following:

• not having a home birth
• not breastfeeding  
• not homeschooling every child in your home (& no one writes a better persuasive blog than a home school mom...we teach persuasive writing!)
• working outside the home
• squandering money by getting a tattoo or piercing
• using day care or preschool
• letting government services in your life/home (like early intervention therapists, Parents As Teachers or WIC)
• letting your older children date or pick their mate
• studying world religions, philosophy or learning about other cultures
• and not disciplining your child with swats

I must disclose for the sake of honesty that I am a home school mom.  I work from home. I don't have money for tattoos or cruises and I hate the pain of needles.  I'm not saying there aren't good ideas for some people in the list above.  However, to present the ideas as being superior or inferior in the Christian walk is to deny God His proper place as Lord of our lives.  We as Christians are not all called to the same purpose in the "body of Christ".  1 Corinthians 12 covers this better than I can.

I do think certain things work well for our family such as crock pot meals, owning a bus, and not having credit cards.  However, the most important "thing" in our home is to be submitted to God and living a lifestyle that He has called us to, which is set apart from non-Christians.  Hopefully this set apart lifestyle is recognizable by our love for the Lord our God and others...ALL others. 

When I see these "preaching rants" on subjects like the ones above, it makes me sad because I can name the Christian women who upon reading these posts might feel discouraged, defeated or even doubt the path that God has placed them on.  It makes me think of  Proverbs 3:6 and Psalms 119:24. 

I'm going to blog in the future on what makes a strong Christian home.  My blog will be based on my own experiences, short comings and understandings of scripture.  As a fair warning, none of the bulleted items listed are on my list....nor will you be required to start using a crock pot, buy a bus or shred your credit cards.

For he that will love life,

 and see good days,

let him refrain his tongue from evil,

and his lips that they speak no guile

~~I Peter 3:10

Grocery Shopping

Some people have a dream house...I have a "dream" grocery store....keep in mind that I shop weekly and one time a month I spend 3 to 4 hours in the grocery store and exit with 3 to 4 carts full.

Here are the details of my dream grocery store:

• The grocery store would install cup holders on each cart and offer Rt 44 Sonic drinks (for non-US readers, this is a 44 oz drink with awesome crushed ice) as I arrive.
• They would allow me to fax in my orders for the items that I buy one or more cases of and have the cases waiting for me.
• They would have "St. Louis-style" carts...okay, so I have no idea of the carts "real name", but ones like in the picture to the left...with a high shallow basket, room for cases to stack below and the front is hinged so everything in the basket just gets slid onto the checkout conveyor belt. (For readers who don't know me personally, I use a wheelchair and dangling over a cart to try to reach the items at bottom of a typical deep basket is no fun.)
• Any aisle with items over 50 pounds each (ie. dog food) would have a button to press call for assistance.
• A pouch with see thru pockets should be on the cart to hold grocery lists and coupons being used.
• When its time for carryout, the carryout person will arrive before the ice cream melts.

I use coupons and generally save 20% with coupons each shopping trip. I organize them by the order that the items are from the front of Wal-Mart grocery to the back (rather than by category). Even when I shop places other than Wal-Mart, I find this arrangement works well.

NOW, for what everyone seems to want to know...where do I get my coupons?

1. web site of frequently purchased brands such as Betty Crocker and Cascade,
2. online newspaper coupons,
3. Boxtops for Education,
4. couponmom,
5. ebay to purchase coupons for specific favorite products,
6. newspapers and magazines
7. friends and family.

Nate, Hannah & the universe

I was VERY disappointed today to learn that in Stephen Hawking's latest book, The Grand Design, Hawking and his co-author are claiming, “Because there is a law such as gravity, the Universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the Universe exists, why we exist.”

So many people look to science for answers that it saddens me to think how many of them will avoid or skip spiritual exploration because they will accept Hawking's claim as truth. It must be pointed out that Hawking did not say that there is no God. Nor did he say that there is no need for man to have a relationship with God, but these messages are implied.

It would be hard to live in our home and not acknowledge an Almighty God who is reaching out to help us. Nate shouldn't have lived to make it out of Haiti, let alone long enough to have a successful repair of his heart. Hannah survived being born pre-mature in the jungle with conditions that should have required thousands of dollars of NICU care, but she survived and through amazing provisions came to live at our home at age 3 1/2. Hannah experienced the equivalent of winning the lottery 7 or 8 times by the time that she was 4 years old! It is hard to explain these types of "luck" without considering the reality God's provision in their lives.

A friend once stated to me that I had "saved" Hannah and Nate, but she is very wrong. Their critical hours of need occurred before I knew of their existence and in circumstances where only God could meet their needs.

So while Hawking writes, "Spontaneous creation is the reason....why we exist". I think he needs to consider, "what is the reason we survive?" If he could see what I've seen, then he would reconsider "why we exist" too.

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap,

or gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? --Matthew 6:26

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. --1 Peter 5:7