40: Day 39 Not the Friday I Wanted

This Friday I had appointments in Jefferson City so I left at 5am with the twins and Nate.  Then I took them to Grandma's house along the way.  I finally picked them up and got home around 6pm.  I was greeted by Matt who was ready for his turn at Grandma's.  This was not exactly the first thing that I wanted to do after driving so much today.  I was hoping for dinner out with hubby and then some grocery shopping, but hubby had volunteered to work on a computer.  So I took Grace grocery shopping and convinced Matt to wait until tomorrow to go to Grandma's house.  In the end, the groceries weren't put away until after 11:30pm so it was just a long tiring day.

I'm tired...(Actually I was tired in June 2011)

Have you ever been exhausted?  Maybe you needed a break and no one was cooperating and then your hubby did something stupid or maybe a couple somethings?  Well, below in green is an entry that I never published from June 2011.  I put it in green because I was GREEN with envy when I wrote it.  I was envious of well rested, vacationed, and not financially stressed families!  I was STRESSED and my hubby spent our "just us-get away vacation" fund to put Invisalign on Corrine's teeth without exactly discussing it with me.  Then hubby went to Dallas, TX for 14 days of debate tournaments and teachers meetings without telling me about his decision on Corrine's teeth.  I find out and I "get to" write the check while he is gone.  He has been home 2 days when I write this entry in GREEN.

Now some folks think Mr. Workman and I NEVER fuss.  We are always happy with each other and I know a few of you reading this have said that I would never understand wanting to strangle my hubby.  Let me assure you, most of us have had days like the one below.

June 26, 2011  Do you ever get so tired and so worn out that you are pretty sure you will never feel any different?  I'm afraid I have crossed the line from perpetually tired to exhausted, ready to give up tired and depressed that I never get a break.  So I look for things to give up or the throw over board....Give up what?  I'm not sure...I love teaching, working seems required to pay the bills and being THE mom is a permanent gig so I'm not sure what to throw overboard, but I have some good ideas and some not so good ideas!


I mention to some that I need a break and I'm told that "You decided to have all those children."  So obviously they don't want to help or want to punish me for having so many great kids...I'm not sure.  Either way,  they are missing the point that I have had 3 full nights of sleep since October 4, 2009 and I'd like to try nights 4 and 5 consecutively while being away from the many stresses in life.


My hubby is probably my greatest source of help and my greatest source of work.  He wants to be helpful, but he just doesn't seem to want to be completely helpful.  For example, that I'm sure many wives can relate to, he let me nap today, but I get up to a sink overflowing with dishes, no supper, and all the work that was already there when I laid down is still waiting on me.  I have BEGGED for us to take time away, but he won't set the dates and doesn't want to spend the money.  I understand being tight, but his choice of putting Corrine's braces before my mental health is probably not the best choice he has ever made.

I am so glad those feelings of exhaustion have come and gone several times quickly, but I thought I would post this now as a reminder to my hubby (who rarely reads my blog, but our oldest kid does) that our tax return will be here in less than 20 days so maybe he should be planning a mini-vacation for us!  However, I know that mini-vacations are only temporary refreshment and for sustaining strength I must seek it through the Lord who has been most generous in giving me the strength to meet the needs of the family He designed for us.

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength

of my heart, and my portion for ever. ~~Psalm 73:26

January's Progress

Gloominess Postponed:

Well my gloominess are lifting or at the very least, being postponed until April or May.  Besides more and more unexpected projects keep coming in at work and home, so I really don't have time to be gloomy right now! 

Pantry "Eat Down" Continues:

The great pantry "eat down" challenge is heating up.  A few days ago our most picky eater Corrine was on the verge of a meltdown as her favorites started disappearing and she thought she was facing PBJ sandwiches for the rest of the month!  Corrine was advocating cleaning out the cabinets by giving it to the food closet because (and I quote) "those people will appreciate this stuff, unlike us".  So I have started posting the next couple days' menus in advance and everyone seems happier knowing what creative uses I've found for our supplies.  I made a few costly errors in planning the use of the pantry surplus since I did not take a full inventory before starting the menu planning.  For example,  I used all the frozen hot dogs before finding the frozen hot dog buns so I had to go buy more hot dogs.  However, I think we are on schedule of the "eat down" to end on or about February 4th.  Tonight I made the last roast.  Still ahead of us is orange roughy, tilapia, 3 packages of corn tortillas, 2 chickens, 1 turkey breast and a few beef ribs....plus lots of canned veggies and dry beans.  We have a few things that I always buy in bulk so they are not part of the "eat down", but they are nice to help me fill out the menu. 

Plans for After the "Eat Down":

When I teach business classes we encourage leaders of manufacturing businesses to consider JIT inventory management which views inventory as waste because it is money spent, but not in use.  JIT or Just-In-Time was developed by Toyota in the 1950s and I'm going to be the nerdy housewife/adjunct business instructor who tries to put JIT to use in the area of my groceries and household goods.  I already realize a set amount of inventory is needed to maximize the cost savings of bulk purchases and to be prepared for an emergency.  However, these surplus items are going to be planned into the menu and grocery list so that last month's emergency supplies are the beginning of the following month's menu.

  Using this JIT inspired method, I think I can achieve the following:

1.  Fresher food and no waste due to expiration

2.  Less clutter in the cabinets

3.  Fewer trips to the grocery store.  It should be 3 to 4 trips per month.

4.  Greater variety of foods and dishes with more nutrition

5.  Better use of coupons and sale items through planned meals

So I'm already working on February's menu and shopping list; I'm locating coupons and finding new ways to $ave!  It is not my goal to reduce what we spend on household costs, but rather it is my goal to get more usable "stuff" and to get better usable "stuff" for the $1000 per month that I spend.

(If I can figure out how, then I'll post my February plan and costs as I go through the month.  Plus unlike Dilbert's cartoon below, hopefully Wal-Mart and other retailers will keep doing what they do best so I won't need such an overstocked pantry.)

Blues & Birthday

I've had the "gloomies" for about 2 weeks.  I'm really not sure exactly why because it seems to be several things combined.  I was reading a friend's blog earlier this week, and she explained parts of  how I'm feeling better than I ever could. 

She wrote of her emotions:

Happiness when spending quality time with my children and husband.

Anger at myself for overeating and having poor self control.

Overwhelmed with having a hectic, busy, dirty, chaotic house.

Worried about my children.

Embarrassed to go to the gym and work out.  (I don't embarrass easily, but mine would be...Too lazy to load up the babies and to go to the gym and to unload the babies and to work out, etc AND angry at myself for being lazy)

Frustrated at the ignorance of some people.

Anxious about our finances.

Irritation from problem children.

Enraged by said children's behavior at times. (I get much less patient than I want to be when trying to write coherent reports for work and take care of the kids.)

Exhausted most of the day.

Hopeful.

I was so glad to hear another mom, whom I respect, give voice to these sometimes overwhelming feeling.  Strangely enough I found it encouraging.  I am so thankful for Kim being willing to write so honestly about her feelings...and mine!

My birthday outing was great.  Mr. Workman took me to Cafe on the Route for the first time.  It was featured on Diners, Drive-in, & Dives on the Food Network.  The food was amazing and Mr. Workman had reserved us the table directly in front of the fire place.  It was a lovely evening.  I had really hoped for going to do something like see a play, rather than just going to eat since I feel like I already do enough of that at home.  This feeling of disappointment is rare for me and I think it was brought on in part by my hope for an activity with the potential of chasing away the gloomies.  Oh well, I guess I've got to beat the gloomies some other way.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God. – Psalm 42:5-6a